Who else enjoys setting New Year’s intentions more than opening their presents? Nothing feels more refreshing than planning for the future, reflecting on the past, and focusing on the importance of self-reflection. This is what I do each year and want to share with you. Now – grab your journal and answer the following questions honestly. Feel free to share with your loved ones and kids too!

2019/2020 Self-Reflection Activity

Five of the most significant events from last year:

I am most proud of these three accomplishments from the past year:

Three valuable lessons I’ve learned in the past year:

Three personal improvements I’ve made in the past year:

Three things I would change over the past year:

The greatest influences on me (products, people, viewpoints, other) in the past year on me were:

The smartest decision I made in the past year:

The biggest risk I took last year:

A crucial relationship that improved in the previous year:

Two things I need to do less of in the new year:

Two things I need to do more of in the new year:

This is the time of the year when nature tells us to rest, slow down, and reflect. Following a spending splurge and overeating during the holiday season, you likely feel you have little energy to develop new habits. However, with these self-reflection exercises, you can start with small changes and implement them slowly. One of the biggest reasons new year resolutions fail is that they are too hard or too big to sustain.

What’s New With Me

Millie will be 1 in January, and her smile and appetite continue to make us smile! I discovered the Peloton App for running on a treadmill. Total game changer! The “Bigs” are getting big, and trying to keep up with all of their interests can be a full-time job. My husband and I are looking into a little new business adventure for couples; I will keep you posted.

What’s New With You?

Did you survive the holidays?
Any New Years’ goals that I can help to support?
What are some ways you stay active in the winter?
Are there any new books or experiences you would like to share?
And as always… how’s your sleep schedule?

The start of a brand new year and a new decade is the perfect time to think about where you’ve been and where you’re going. Speaking to a professional counselor can give you some insight into the importance of self-reflection and the support you need to become the best version of yourself. Don’t hesitate to call or e-mail me to set up a private session. I would love to hear about your self-reflection!

Conflict in a relationship can be healthy, natural, and helpful for building intimacy, but only when both partners are committed to resolving the issue. If your partner refuses or is resistant to making healthy changes, you must assess the overall health of your marriage, as well as your partner. Here are the essential dos and don’ts that can lead to civil conflict resolution with your spouse today.

What You Should Do

• Set the tone and speak to each other face-to-face
• Work through different conflict resolution strategies
• Get rid of all the potential distractions in the room
• Voice the conflict as a concern, not a complaint
• Remember the three F’s: Fact, Feeling, and Fair Request
• Take time to reflect on each other’s concerns and emotions
• Ask for clarification if you need it, don’t nod your head pretending to listen
• Remember that you’re on the same team and offer each other support and guidance throughout the civil conflict resolution
• Brainstorm how you can avoid the same conflicts in the future
• Thank each other for taking the time to listen and peacefully resolve the conflict

Actions You Should Avoid

• Using deflections to get off topic and bringing up your own concerns
• Calling each other names and using defamatory terms
• Personally insulting each other’s character during an argument
• Using dismissive body language
• Involving your children or friends (solve this conflict together)
• Arguing under the influence of drugs or alcohol
• Working on conflict resolution when you’re hungry, tired, or upset
• Attempting to work through conflict resolution over text messages or phone calls
• Bringing up more than one issue at a time

If you feel like your arguments involve more of the actions you should avoid than the ones you should do, you may be in an unhealthy relationship. Take a quick non-clinical assessment to find out more.

Conflict is natural in every relationship; these periods can help you grow and learn as partners. However, it’s crucial you maintain a civil conflict resolution to avoid fighting with one another and causing irreversible harm to your relationship. To learn how you can work together to resolve issues you may be facing, schedule a consultation for couples therapy in Dallas today.

Divorce, Communication Breakdown, No intimacy?

Men this is for you. Women, you’re welcome, feel free to send, tag, print and glue this to your husband:)

So you have been married 2, 7, 14, 20 years and one day the buzzing pauses and you stop and realize you aren’t that into your wife. Wait, or is your wife not that into you? What happened?  Read More “5 Things That Happen When You Stop Dating Your Wife”

School is coming! Avoid the Battles with “Reward Rocks”

By: Pare Underwood

How can you get your kids to listen to you without absolutely losing your mind?!  Are you a “we will go get ice-cream if you do x,y,z” parent or are you a “You just lost your TV privileges” parent?

Sure, screaming and legal negotiations can get your kids moving, but what if everyone still had  smile on their face when you were correcting behavior or handing out chores?  Reward Rocks might just be your answer. Read More “Positive Reinforcement with “Reward Rocks””

Be Thankful for the Right to set Boundaries!

At last, Thanksgiving day! The day of thankfulness and reflection of the joys you have in your life! I truly do love Thanksgiving and the entire vibe of giving, sharing, abundance, relaxation, and family. It has all the perfect ingredients for an ideal Holiday. Unfortunately, family issues and relationship conflict are often called to the table… Read More “Turkey With a Side of Boundaries Please! How To Enjoy Thanksgiving with Family that stresses you out…”

Why don’t I feel good after we “agree to disagree?”

Many times when individuals come into couples counseling, I hear the dreaded well, “ we will just have to agree to disagree.” The only problem with this is that it is said with disappointment and contempt. Stop throwing in the “agree to disagree towel” Read More “Is “Agreeing to Disagree” Causing a Communication Breakdown?””

Is your marriage worth saving? Many times couples or individuals come into counseling with this very question at hand. Looking straight at me, hoping I will provide them with a definite and concrete answer of yes or no. Often these same individuals have been contemplating each scenario over and over for years. Here is the answer to the question… Read More “Read This Before You Give Up On Your Marriage”

First of all, a huge credit is due here to Bradley Craig owner of “Between Two Homes” for introducing me years ago to the co-parenting resources and movement here in North Texas. Brad took me on to be a part of his well researched and accredited co-parenting interventions, skills, and classes “Children in the Middle, along with introducing me the top-notch professionals working with families in transition in the area.” So what would all children…
Read More “Co-Parenting Tips…your kids want you to read this!”

Tired of looking through generic counseling and therapy websites full of headshots and comfy couches and still not finding the best fit for you and your needs? I get it. How in the world are you suppose to choose which person is going to give you the life-changing feedback and relief that you are desperately looking for?

The choices can be overwhelming, especially since you are typically searching for a therapist on your own.  Heck, I even bring a friend with me to go shoe shopping, so how am I supposed to trust my own judgment in selecting a “stranger” with my deepest fears, worries, weaknesses, and life story! So let me help you on how to get started on what might be the most powerful and beneficial relationship you might ever have…
Read More “Have You Found the Right Counselor Yet?”