17 Jun 2020

Depression Therapy

Another suicide has happened within our Rockwall “bubble.” I am unsure what each communities pain threshold is for loss by suicide, but being directly involved with the surviving  friends and family members I can imagine sweet hometown Rockwall has to be close to a 10.

I hope that Rockwall can serve as a prime example  of how depression, anxiety,  and broken relationships also “cross the bridge.”  When we hear of a death by suicide the devastation is something words cannot describe.  Leaving behind spouses, children, memories shared with friends and family.  Often people cannot imagine what could have possibly been “that bad” to make such a devasting and tragic decision.

We know that suicide does sometimes become an actual “option” when people are depressed, tired, persistently let down by trying other options to feel better with no progress.  Sometimes it is something they have contemplated for years, or something they see as an option just after a “last straw” situation or feeling.  Unfortunately, unless they leave a letter we do not know all of the answers.

What we do know is that depression is real and someone experiencing it, can feel helpless, to the point of the idea of ending things as the only option for relief.  Depression can be chemical or situational.  It can be from years of feeling in the dumps, to  feeling completely crushed by a break up. Either way the feelings are the same.

We cannot see it  and often friends, coworkers, or family innocently  overlook it.  Imagine trying to run a race and having a broken leg, THAT NO ONE CAN SEE.  Not only that, your leg looks normal , healthy, and fully functional.  The expectations for you are the same as other runners with fully healthy legs, EVERY DAY YOU WAKE UP approaching the start line not feeling like you can even start.  This is what severe depression and anxiety  can feel like.

Suicide hurts  everyone involved.

We as a community can help counteract suicide by understanding depression, encouraging counseling, and establishing and promoting resources for everyone across race and economic status. We can learn to look for “signs” from our kids, spouses, co-workers, friends, and families.  Talk real to them.  Say things like “I am worried about you, are you ok.”  “ Are you thinking about hurting yourself.”  It is a statistical myth that asking them these questions will plant the idea in their head.  Offer support, tell them you care and they matter to you.

If you are contemplating suicide, please get professional help. You deserve it. Friends and family love you, but they often are not trained in being able to understand or give you the support or resources to safeguarding you from making a permanent decision for a temporary feeling.

Rockwall is not immune from depression and never will be, but we can definitely  work as a community one home at a time, to take suicide off the table and put healthier options on it for people who are struggling.

Pare Underwood LPC

Pare  Underwood is a licensed professional counselor and owner of Heath Counseling.  Pare and her team offer support to individuals left behind by loved ones or individuals suffering with depression, anxiety, or relationship stress.  She has served on the local suicide prevention board for Hannah4Hope, and often provides support to local businesses and schools after a tragic loss.

Pare Underwood LPC