First of all, a huge credit is due here to Bradley Craig owner of “Between Two Homes” for introducing me years ago to the co-parenting resources and movement here in North Texas. Brad took me on to be a part of his well researched and accredited co-parenting interventions, skills, and classes “Children in the Middle, along with introducing me the top-notch professionals working with families in transition in the area.” So what would all children…
So what would all children living between two homes hope for their parents to spend an extra 5 minutes refreshing on, the stuff I’m about to give to you.
Simple Co-Parenting Tips To Live By
As a parent raising two kids between two homes, I will be the first to say it is not a flawless one-time decision that you make. It is an ongoing and sometimes challenging pattern of choices you make every single day! Trust me, your kids will be forever grateful for it one day that you did, even if they don’t get it now.
What we do know is that children living between two homes have higher rates of illicit drug use, high school dropout rate, teen pregnancy, suicide, depression, anxiety, and unfortunately divorce as well. I always tell clients and my previous co-parenting class attendees, do not let this statistic determine your children’s future but understand that the divorce itself was not the determining factor, how the parents handled the divorce and conflict after the divorce are the contributing factors.
For a good status check to see if you have been on track, check out the list below and highlight what you are currently doing or not doing. Then ask yourself if you feel comfortable with your results for your kids in combating the statistics they face…
Not feeling so swift about your current co-parenting skills, or feel like your co-parent relationship is challenging and don’t know how to manage it, call me…I would love to assist with co-parenting coaching (it only takes one parent to combat the stats). I am also putting Brad’s information down below if you are wanting to attend an extended co-parenting class in the area, or check out his co-parenting handbook, I readily keep these on hand for my co-parenting clients.
The Co-Parenting Tips Check List
- Do Not talk negatively, or allow others to talk negatively, about the other parent in front of the child.
- Do Not use the child to spy on the other parent.
- Do Not argue during exchanges
- Do communicate with the other parent and make similar rules for discipline, routines, sleeping arrangements, and schedules.
- Do make decisions for the child’s psychological, spiritual, and physical well-being as well as their safety.
- Do make arrangements with the other parent without putting the children in the middle.
- Do work together to allow the child to be involved in extracurricular activities.
- Do keep the other parent informed of any scholastic, medical, psychiatric, or extracurricular activities or appointments of the child.
- Do Not bring the child into adult issues and conversations.
- Do Not ask the child where he or she wants to live.
- Do Not attempt to alienate the other parent from the child’s life.
- Do Not allow stepparents or others to negatively alter your relationship with the other parent.
- Do Not use phrases that draw the children into your issues or make the children feel guilty.
- Do communicate using the facts
- Do Not stay negatively engaged with the other parent
- Bradley Craig, LMSW-IPR, CFLE of Childreninthemiddle.com
- Craig, B. S. (2014). Between Two Homes: A CoParenting Handbook. Grand Prairie, TX: BTH Publications, A Division of Between Two Homes, LLC.